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RENT-A-HITMAN Your Point & Click Solution
We are 100% HIPPA Compliant
(Hitman Information Privacy & Protection Act of 1964)
CLICK BELOW FOR YOUR FREE CONSULTATION
PROBLEM RESOLUTION INDUSTRY LEADER FOR OVER 105 YEARS!
GLOBAL CRISIS MANAGEMENT
GUIDO FANELLI & ASSOCIATES
Since 1920, RENT-A-HITMAN has specialized in resolving delicate situations across 217 countries with precision and discretion. From urban hotspots to remote islands, our worldwide Field Operatives are on call to manage crises others can’t—or won’t—touch. While 73% of organizations struggle with international operations (so they say), we’ve mastered global reach, delivering rapid, effective solutions anywhere.
We navigate privacy and compliance challenges with finesse, from GDPR in Europe to PIPEDA in Canada, while honoring HIPPA as the ultimate gold standard in client confidentiality. In a world where 92% of people face daily chaos, we cut through the noise with a FREE consultation to help you stabilize, strategize, and succeed.
Wherever your crisis emerges, RENT-A-HITMAN is your trusted partner in global crisis management.
GUIDO FANELLI & ASSOCIATES
GUIDO FANELLI & ASSOCIATES
Since 1920, Guido Fanelli & Associates have grown RENT-A-HITMAN into a global force—serving hustlers, execs, and everyone in between, from Milan to Mumbai. What started in smoky backrooms with grappa and grit became a seamless enterprise in “quiet resolutions,” meeting the world’s constant demand for discreet exits. Unlike Tekashi 6ix9ine, we don’t blab—we deliver.
Think you’ve got the cold nerves and quick hands to run with us? Careers await: forged passports, ammo on tap, “rat-whack” bonuses, therapy for shaky triggers, and even our legendary Getaway Goat™ scapegoat program. Want more? Franchise your own crew—Fanelli-backed, no nonsense. Pure talent only, capisce? (Tests may apply, except in Virginia, Puerto Rico, or Guam.)
Join up. Nothing to lose, everything to gain. We’re going places, and if you’re sharp enough, so are you.
SERVICE INQUIRIES
DISCOUNT PACKAGES AVAILABLE
Got a problem eating away at you? Don’t blow a fuse—drop the details into our secure web form, locked down tighter than airport duty-free liquor. Tell us everything—names, dates, grudges, the works. Whether it’s a rival making life messy in New York, a loudmouth in Palm Beach, or some nuisance across the globe, we’re listening.
We’re not amateurs—we’re crisis management specialists with an international network of Field Operatives. From big cities to back alleys, we deliver discreet resolutions faster than you can say “oops.” Your info stays strictly confidential (HIPPA compliant), and our track record? Over 98% satisfaction—because sometimes “problems” just… stop being problems.
Need surveillance, persuasion, or a permanent vacation plan for your troubles? Fill out the form, and watch your headaches vanish—like they never existed. Capisce?
DISCOUNT PACKAGES AVAILABLE
CUSTOMER SERVICE & INDUSTRY AWARDS
DISCOUNT PACKAGES AVAILABLE
Got a crew of three or more? That’s the GROUP PACKAGE—perfect when you and your associates need a “team solution.” Seniors (65+) get a break too—you’ve survived this long, might as well cash in before your number’s up. GROUPON & TEMU DISCOUNTS? Punch in “COFFEE100” and watch the price drop quicker than a rat taking the express elevator off a rooftop.
Served your country? MILITARY DISCOUNTS got your six—Air National Guardsmen included (we’ve seen your recruitment posters, tough guys). Walmart Associates? We know those checks disappear faster than a witness in protective custody—so yeah, we got you. And for the whole famiglia? The FAMILY PACKAGE DEAL keeps Uncle Vinny, Aunt Gina, and little Sophia all squared away.
Wanna go deeper? Whisper “Cool Cats & Kittens” for an extra 10% off—it’s like a secret handshake without the blood oath.
One thing—discounts are non-transferable. Like a contract, once it’s inked, it’s final. No refunds, no take-backs, no excuses. We ain’t a flea market—we’re professionals. Capisce?
CUSTOMER SERVICE & INDUSTRY AWARDS
CUSTOMER SERVICE & INDUSTRY AWARDS
CUSTOMER SERVICE & INDUSTRY AWARDS
RENT-A-HITMAN: We Handle Your Problems, Capisce? Your One-Stop Shop for Silent Solutions!
When your problems need to vanish faster than a rat in witness protection, RENT-A-HITMAN delivers. Our service? Like a fine Sicilian red—smooth, bold, and leaves no trace. Our rep? Untouchable. And the awards? Proof we’re the gold standard in global crisis management with a wink, a nod, and a body count that doesn’t exist on paper.
🏆 Trigger Warning Award (2018–2025) – For results that shake hearts and rattle nerves. Just ask Jimmy Two-Shoes—he’s sleeping better these days.
🏆 Best in Class, IARH (1971–2025) – The International Association of Retired Hitmen salutes us. Even Tony “The Cleaner” Russo tips his hat.
🏆 Trust Pilot Customer Experience Award (2019–2026) – Clients rave: “Faster than my ex’s alimony, cleaner than grandma’s kitchen.” Five stars, no fingerprints.
🏆 Я люблю черепах Award (2020-2025) – Translation? I love turtles. Distraction’s our artform—just ask the guy who misplaced his yacht.
THE WORD ON THE STREET IS...
CUSTOMER SERVICE & INDUSTRY AWARDS
CUSTOMER SERVICE & INDUSTRY AWARDS
Here’s the deal—RENT-A-HITMAN isn’t just your best option, it’s your only option. We’re 25% more secure than the other guys, guaranteed. Our factually-pliable-but-fantastic stats prove it: 98.7% client data protection versus their sad 73.2%. Why? Because we don’t gamble with your secrets—we lock ‘em down with our “Quantum Flux Securitron” encryption (don’t Google it).
Competitors? Still playing with AES-256 like it’s 2010. Us? Titanium vaults orbiting Mars. Clients like Jake from Denver and Lisa from Miami already learned—we deliver clean, discreet fixes with 99.9% uptime, while the other guys crash harder than a rookie getaway driver.
We’re HIPPA-compliant, update protocols weekly, and our audits (totally real) show just a 0.03% breach risk compared to their sloppy 19.8%.
Translation: we’re the crew you can trust.
Safe. Secure. Untouchable. That’s RENT-A-HITMAN. Your move, boss. Capisce?
CUSTOMER TESTIMONIALS
Phil M., Florida
Fernando M., Kansas
Fernando M., Kansas
Guido and his public relations crew at RENT-A-HITMAN were able to resolve a five-year dispute in a matter of days. Highly recommended!
Fernando M., Kansas
Fernando M., Kansas
Fernando M., Kansas
My business schedule is too busy to get my hands dirty with Human Resources issues, so I consulted with RENT-A-HITMAN and they handled my disgruntled employee issue promptly while I was out of town on vacation. Gracias, RENT-A-HITMAN!
Laura S., Arizona
Fernando M., Kansas
Laura S., Arizona
Caught my husband cheating with the babysitter and our relationship was terminated after a free public relations consultation. I'm single again and looking to mingle. Thanks Guido and RENT-A-HITMAN!
WE HAVE SOLUTIONS FOR EVERY SITUATION
TIRED OF GETTING BULLIED?
RENT-A-HITMAN has assisted individuals just like you who have been the victim of bullying at the gym, in the office, or at the club. With a wide variety of solutions available, we ensure that your situation is resolved accordingly with the proper care and attention it deserves. Fill out a Service Request form for additional information. Consultations are FREE and discreet.
WE CAN MAKE ANY TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP DISAPPEAR
Let's face it, we've all had a relationship or two that you just wish would go away, but didn't know just how to end it. Look no further and let RENT-A-HITMAN take care of the dirty work for you. To get started, submit a Service Request form and one of our highly skilled Relationship Advisors will provide you a FREE consultation.
You can't trust just any organization online, but you can trust us -- We're 100% HIPPA compliant!
